Happy Queen of Hearts Day!

Queen of Hearts Day

Today we are pleased to have a special guest blogger, the Queen of Hearts, who as you may know, is also the Chairman of the Board of Directors of Alice’s company, Leaves of Wonderland- Purveyors of Fine Teas.

Happy Queen of Hearts Day

By Guest Blogger

The Queen of Hearts

Today is February 14th, arguably THE most important day of the entire year, for today is “Queen of Hearts Day”.  However, it has come to my attention that some of my subjects have forgotten the true meaning of the day and have mistakenly celebrated it as an homage to love and friendship.  They have even gone so far as to attribute it to that mere child Cupid. How ridiculous! After all, why would anyone celebrate a little diaper wearing idiot who is always shooting the wrong people with his laughable bow and arrow?!? This will never do. Today has one meaning and one meaning only, and that is for you, my subjects, to pay your proper respects to me, your royal leader. To assist you in accomplishing this, I have taken time out of my busy schedule to list some of the ways which would be appropriate for you to honor me today.

1.    Proudly fly your Queen of Hearts flag for all to see. If by some slight chance you do not possess a Queen of Hearts flag, I suggest that you acquire one. I will be watching.
2.    Play cards with your friends using a deck completely comprised of hearts. Those other suits are absolutely unnecessary.
3.    Play chess with a set made up entirely of Queens, preferably with my countenance painted on each piece.
4.    Trim your shrubbery to be in the shape of hearts.
5.    Hang banners with hearts from your walls and on your doors and windows to let all of your neighbors know that you understand the true meaning of the day.
6.    Give your friends and family heart shaped candy, cakes or cookies all in my honor. Let them share the glory of my magnificence.
7.    Tell your children and your children’s children about me. Make sure that they understand the importance of Queen of Heart’s Day.
8.    Write love letters…to me. Tell me how wonderful I am. Certainly, I know perfectly well how splendid I am, but it is nice to know that you realize it too.
9.    Write poetry extolling my virtues. Share your poems with the world. Afterall, somewhere there are undoubtedly people who do not know of me. Think what a service you will be doing by introducing them to my magnificence.
10.    Wear red…not just today, but every day.  If you must wear another color, be certain to adorn your ensemble with plenty of hearts.

Now,  those of you who are sensible, loyal and intelligent, will find this list most helpful and may even have a few more ways to honor me to add to it.  And, those of you who persist in thinking of today not as Queen of Hearts Day but rather that insipid Valentine’s Day, I have but one thing to say to you….Off with your heads!

Disclaimer: The opinions expressed by the Queen of Hearts do not necessarily reflect those held by Susan Goldberg, Rebecca Lacy or Leaves of Wonderland.